The following is a list of words and phrases occasionally used on this blog that are not yet in the Webster’s Standard Dictionary, or that are being used in a different context than the normal definition would imply.

Ciphering – statistical analysis by persons ill-suited to the task

Coincidence– When two seemingly related events take place at the same time but politicians insist they are not related.  Example 1: the Winnipeg Police Association announcing their endorsement of the mayor and the mayor announcing an increase in complement of 77 positions at the same time at the same place. Example 2: the mayor being in a panic to lower speed limits in schools zones (read an increase in photo radar revenue) at the same time the city is trying to cut costs and increase revenues.

Come – when used in a Police Service News Release in the context of “a statistical error come to light” it has the same meaning as ‘came’

Hairboy – a police officer who wears his hair longer than other members of the police service and has a preoccupation with hair like The Donald.

Mobile Revenue  Generating Devices – mobile photo radar units

No brainer – an issue or question where the answer or solution seems so obvious that it requires little if any thought or consideration.  Unfortunately the ‘no brainer’ attitude sometimes masks a failure or inability to grasp or comprehend an issue,  making the solution seem obvious or simple.  Left unchecked  it can lead  “no braineritis”.

No braineritis – a chronic condition of intellectual laziness.  Chronic sufferers tend to make decisions based on instinct as opposed to careful consideration of data and the application of good judgement and sound management practices.

Playing – to engage  scammers on the internet and waste their time

Policespeak – similar to the Orwellian  term “doublespeak”* and primarily spoken by media spokespersons and members of the executive.   Should not be confused with  “duckspeak” which is talking without thinking.  Persons new to Policespeak and not yet practised in its art may sound like they are speaking duckspeak.

Sammed – not to be confused with scammed, a situation where someone, usually a politician, uses their position to put the boots to taxpayers either through flawed decision making or the imposition of taxes disguised as user fees or fines.  Unlike scamming which is criminal, samming is done in full public view and is allowed to flourish because of public apathy.  One of the leading practitioners of this technique is Mayor Sam Katz, after whom it is named.

Samspeak – a combination of duckspeak and doublespeak in combination with an attack mode verbal  offence when one’s motives are questioned or one is asked to be accountable.  Although many politicians practice Samspeak the leading practitioner  is Winnipeg Mayor Sam Katz who, although not the originator of the approach, has perfected it.

Statistical error– in Policespeak it means “we screwed up the 2010 Annual Report”.  It is a flexible term and may be applied to other situations in the future.

Toying – Same meaning as ‘playing’ but can also be applied to telemarketers who call during the dinner hour.

Undertermined – first coined by the Winnipeg Police Service and used in the flawed original version of the 2010 Annual Report.  It is a  Policespeak  variation of ‘undetermined’ meaning  “we are not sure”

Unidentified Programming Anomaly – Policespeak for “we screwed up but don’t have a clue how it happened”

* The word doublespeak does not appear in the Newspeak dictionary but has come into common usage since the publication of  George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty Four.

One comment on “Definitions

  1. Beef Curtains says:

    Thanks for the laughs Menno!


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