Fantasy Island

Remember Fantasy Island?

Tattoo:  “Look boss, de plane, de plane!”

Mr. Roarke:  “No Tattoo, that is not de plane.  That is de Winnipeg Police Helicopter.”

The Winnipeg Police Helicopter,  we are told,  is now operational.

The on time criteria has not been met as it is about 5 months behind schedule.   No word yet as to whether it is on budget.

However, step aside, all ye naysayers:  the Police Service has come up with yet another potential use for the helicopter.

When it is not busy  rescuing elderly confused males lost in the Assiniboine Park Forest, it will be used to fight the anticipated 2011 flood.  Will it be used to deliver sand bags?  No, it is too small for that.  Will it be used to pluck people from the rooftops of their houses?  No, it’s not equipped for that.

What will it do during the flood?

Seeing as it is jointly funded by the city and the province, it could be used to take the mayor and the premier on “rides” so they could view the devastation from topside.  I’m not sure what the protocol is in terms of who has first dibs – the city because it bought the helicopter; or, the province because it pays for the pilot and the fuel.  But I’m sure they will work that out.

In any event, can you visualize this:  the Winnipeg Police helicopter, just a speck in the sky, approaches the flood-way gates where a throng of reporters are waiting.  The helicopter lands, and the mayor and/or the premier get out quickly before the rotor blades stop turning (this allows their hair to get messed so they look like action heroes).  They greet everyone, thank them for coming and launch into a speech describing the great things they are doing to protect Manitobans from devastation.  Then,  quickly back into the helicopter to save us from something else.

Great photo-op I agree but, at several thousand dollars an hour, a bit of an expensive ride.

Lets get real, this is Winnipeg not Fantasy Island.  We have buses not light rail, we have the Moose not the Jets;  the Blue Jays visited once but our everyday fare is the  Goldeyes;  and finally, we have Sam, not a visionary.

Enjoy the ride Sam and as always send us the bill – in one way or another, you always do.

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One comment on “Fantasy Island

  1. Sel Burrows says:

    Great article. helicopter doesn’t seem to help with drunken parties where people get killed.
    I didn’t know you were a creative writer as well as a commentator. Wonderful use of language.
    Sel

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